Christmas Traditions

Growing up, I didn’t think about tradition very much. Tradition seems like such a formal word yet I know that our family had many holiday traditions. As the years went by with our children, I realized that if we did something they liked just one time, they were ready to consider it a tradition.  Although I’m sure most everyone has their own Christmas traditions that have developed over time, I’d like to share some of ours.

First, we’ve never done the “Santa” routine with our kids. Before we were even married, Tim said that he didn’t want to have our kids believe in a Santa who delivers presents. I wanted to have them believe since that’s what I grew up with, but once we had kids I changed my mind.  I always told people the reason we chose to let them know that the presents were from us is because I’m needy and I wanted them to be excited and thankful that we’d gotten them the presents, and not have the glory go to Santa Claus. We were careful to let our kids know the Santa beliefs of others and (except for one slip up that went unheeded) they were good to keep the secret for others.

Since we wanted our focus to be on the birth of Christ, our first decoration to go up after Thanksgiving was our nativity scene that Tim’s mom made for us.  We also have many nativity scene ornaments and decorations around the house making it easy to keep our minds on the true reason for Christmas.

We have gotten a real tree every year. I now think it would make sense to get an artificial tree, but have been met with resistance—even from myself. When decorating, we listen to the amazing a cappella Christmas album, An Evening in December, by First Call. I am a selfish (yet again) mom. I put the lights on the tree and do my decorating first. Then the kids have their time to put their own decorations on the tree. 

Christmas Eve tradition begins with going to the service at church. When we get home, it’s time to watch Claymation Christmas, a favorite that I remember watching on TV when I was growing up. The kids are allowed to open one gift on Christmas Eve. Since I don’t put their gifts under the tree ahead of time, they open gifts from each other. Eggnog is usually included in the evening, but I know it hasn’t been done every year. I would call it a faulty tradition….

Although we don’t have Santa deliver presents, I still like the awe and wonder of coming down on Christmas morning and seeing presents under the tree that weren’t there the night before. I would wait until the kids went to bed to put their wrapped presents under the tree and stuff their stockings. Thankfully, they still want to be surprised as adults. They now stay up later than I do, but they’re willing to stay out of the “Christmas tree room” and not look at their stockings when they walk by so that I can get all of my work done without staying up all night.

With a strict rule to not wake us up before 7 a.m., the girls (at 7 on the dot) would run into our room and get in bed with us. Their brother wasn’t quite as anxious, although he realized that the girls would not-too-kindly wake him up if he didn’t get himself up in time. (I kind of think that was part of his tradition as he moaned and groaned every year when the girls would go jump on him to wake him up.) No one was allowed downstairs until we were all ready to go as a family. Now that they’re adults and have a bit more patience, we have changed the time to 8, but the girls are still as excited as they always were to come wake us up.

Our first stop once we get downstairs is in front of the stockings and nativity scene. Before we check out the stockings (that have to have something sticking out of them—it’s tradition!), we get the baby Jesus figurine and sing a song that the kids learned in a church musical many years ago. Called “Happy Birthday, Jesus”, it helps us to be sure that our first focus on Christmas morning is on the birth of our Savior.

Once the stockings have been dumped and all the contents gone through, we move in to the Christmas tree. Opening presents is never a free-for-all event—we take the time to open each present one by one, usually going around the circle or by age.  The response to the presents, as well as the type of presents given, has changed over the years, but each year still bring a sense of wonder, excitement and just plain contentment and thankfulness as we give and receive our gifts from each other.

A few years ago, I started making homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast. I think that’s a tradition that will stick around for a while!

My mom and dad typically come over for a visit later in the day to see everyone’s gifts and to enjoy family time together. When the kids were young, we would not only have our own Christmas time together but we would cram in two other family get-togethers on Christmas day itself. When that tradition changed, I was bothered at first. I liked celebrating Christmas with extended family on Christmas day. Now, I enjoy having a more low-key family day on Christmas and having two other days for celebrating Christmas with each side of the family. Less stress, more days to celebrate and enjoy life with family.

I never thought that we would be one of “those” families who don’t have anything better to do on Christmas than go to see a movie. However, one year when we didn’t have any other plans, we went to a movie with some friends. I was shocked at how packed the theater was! Now, going to a movie on Christmas day is another event that has become a tradition in our family that we all look forward to.

Our son is now married and has his own family to share his Christmas morning traditions. I realize that there will be a time when we probably won’t have any of our children around on Christmas morning. But that will be okay—we’ll know that they’re beginning their own traditions, more than likely similar to what they grew up with. And, as I did with my family, they will add their own flavor to what they do. Tim and I will adjust, continuing some of the same traditions and will easily come up with our own traditions that involve just the two of us. Our traditions will grow and evolve as our family does. But our main tradition will be the same: our focus will be on the birth of Jesus, the true reason for the Christmas season. 

I Am Getting Older: Looking Older

I do not like having wrinkles and gray hair. I was looking at some pictures of me from 4 years ago and the first thing I said was, “Look how brown my hair is!”. Of course, that was with quite a bit of cover-up help from Clairol, or whatever the hair color company was.

Unfortunately, a few years back, I decided that I am anti-chemical. I’m not exactly sure how I got to that point, but I think it began with doing research on coconut oil. I tend to start on one subject, and as I’m searching, I end up finding all sorts of interesting sites. All of a sudden, it seemed that I was reading about the dangers of the chemicals that are in shampoo, lotion, and other everyday items that we all take for granted.

As I’ve said before, I’m not an activist. If you want to find out more information on the dangers of chemicals in personal care products, I’d urge you to research it for yourself. A good place to start is http://www.mercola.com/. Be sure to confirm everything you read, although in this case it’s kind of hard since many conventional sites say that all of the products are fine to use and are actually good for you. Anyway, do the research or just go natural knowing that it’s more than likely better than using chemicals.

At this point, I feel that I need to put in a disclaimer. I am not criticizing anyone for their use of commercial/chemical products. I am telling my own story, not judging how anyone else chooses to live their life. 

I colored my hair for about 15 years. I ended up more reddish than brown for a while. I had a coloring accident that turned my hair black the day before I was going to a big wedding (our daughter, Carla, said that I could put on a leather dress and pretend that I was Pocohantas!). I am quite thankful for a beautician neighbor who was able to gently strip the black color out of my hair, leaving me with the reddish brown color that I’d gotten used to. Our son called me a calico a time or two when the color was growing out—I had the bottle color, my former natural brown color, and a lot of gray hair in the mix.

Yet with all of the coloring hassles, I didn’t want to go gray. I remembered a commercial saying, “I’m not going to age gracefully. I’m going to fight it every step of the way.” But I am who I am. I had a few gray hairs when I was 18, and although I don’t think I was “prematurely gray”, I definitely was heading toward being gray a lot sooner than I thought I should. I decided that I didn’t need to fight aging in a chemical way. I would obviously still be aging, and doing it in a more unhealthy manner by using so many chemicals to try to maintain a younger look.

I do want to age gracefully. I’ve seen some beautiful women, young and old, who have a head full of gray hair. I’ve seen women with obviously colored hair who still look old and act defeated. Whichever I would choose, I’d needed to simply come to the conclusion that I’m beautiful the way that I am and to carry myself with confidence.

And then there are the wrinkles. I will not stay out of the sun and I don’t use chemical sunscreen. The commercials that shows the products that fill in the wrinkles, plump out the skin, and make you look younger are so convincing to me. However, the fear of the chemicals keeps me away from them. I had found a natural lotion that worked well for me until the company went out of business. Now I make my own lotion. It’s not the greatest, but it works well enough. And I have wrinkles because I enjoy the sunshine and I’m almost in my mid-fifties. I laugh, cry, get frustrated, and live life.  And it shows on my face. But that’s okay, since I’m living life to enjoy it.

So, when you see me today, my face is wrinkled enough that you won’t confuse me with a younger woman, and you’ll see me with my natural hair color. ..which, by the way, I’d still say is brown. I know that I am not 20 anymore…or even 30 or 40. I do, at times, feel sad for the loss of my youthful look. But I look back on my life and realize that in the midst of growing older, I have grown in other ways, too.

My next post will be about feeling older. Just because I’m in my fifties, do I have to suffer the aches, pains and illnesses of an older person? I’m finding out that, although it’s not easy, I can take care of myself in a way that makes me feel so much better—and younger, too. Feeling young and healthy is so much better than covering up gray hair and wrinkles with chemicals to give the appearance of being younger. Being fit and healthy makes me be able to pull off the gray hair and wrinkles with more grace knowing that I may look old, but I don’t have to act old.