Don't Hate Me Because I'm Thin

Why is it considered okay to say rude things to skinny people? I don’t tell you that you’d feel a lot better in the heat if you didn’t have so much extra weight. Why can you tell me that I need more fat on me so that I don’t get so cold in the winter time? I don’t criticize you for wearing size 18 clothing, yet I was in a Christian conference and heard a Christian woman speaker say, from the stage, that she hates all of us in our size 2 jeans. Well, I had gone from a size 10-12 and I was so excited, for the first time that morning, to be able to fit into my size 2 jeans! I was truly offended and should have said something to her about it. Maybe I didn’t have quite the weight and eating problem that she had, but it took work and dedication to lose that weight in a healthy manner. People take one look at me and just assume, and say to my face, that I never have to worry about what I eat and that I’m so lucky to be thin.

About 7 years ago, I was becoming living proof of the middle-age spread. I was at my highest, non-pregnancy, weight and I felt frumpy all of the time. I looked in the mirror and definitely had the "Mrs. Doubtfire" belly going on. I didn’t feel good about myself and I realized that it had been a long time since anyone had said how skinny I was. I set out to lose weight.

My plan to lose weight was to cut calories. I know there were days that I was quite light-headed because I wasn’t consuming enough to support my body, but I was willing to pay that price. I was still eating, and a lot of days I just had fruits and vegetables.

I also started to exercise with more intensity. Between using the treadmill and doing a 3-2-1 (cardio-toning-core) workout, I exercised for about an hour each day. For me, that’s pretty extreme!

I didn’t weigh myself at the very beginning of my weight-loss plan, but I lost at least 20 pounds in about 4 months. I even dropped below my goal weight.

I actually weigh less than most height/weight charts say that I should. But I have quite small bone structure, so I do take that into account with my weight.

Gradually, over the next few years, my weight started to go back up. I never did get as heavy as I had been when I was in size 12 jeans, but I was feeling flabby and frumpy again. I was “skinny fat”, not toned and in good shape. And I believed the lie that a calorie is a calorie and ate pretty much whatever I wanted to eat. Scientifically, that’s probably true, but it’s not true in how the calories affected my body.

Two years ago, I wanted to change my eating style and decided to do a 30-day primal/paleo challenge for my health. My weight wasn’t really that bad but I never seemed to be able to lose my belly flab. I could tell that I had abs behind the belly fat, but it was the pooch that was obvious. After doing some research, I decided that maybe this eating and exercise plan would be good for me.

In 30 days of being strict with the program (high fat, high protein, low carb), I ended up losing 5 pounds that I wasn't even trying to lose. The exercise plan was moderate and helped to get me better toned than I had been before. And it was at the end of these 30 days that I was able to get into my size 2 jeans. My previous diet and exercise plan had made me look good on the scale by the weight I’d lost, but this plan made a difference in my body shape and how I felt.

Once I was done with the 30 days, I allowed treats along the way (especially since it was fall and was getting to be holiday time!). But overall, I stayed true to my eating plan and I felt great.  I held on to that basic weight for about a year, until I hit a rough spot in my life due to circumstances beyond my control. 

Unfortunately, the start of the rough spot easily led into holiday eating, which I wasn’t so careful with this time around. I’d eat poorly for a while, would commit to healthy eating, and then would slip up again. My weight finally started to climb and my clothes didn’t fit as well as they had. I didn’t put on much weight, but I felt the flabbiness coming back. I also had cut back on exercising since I had no energy for that type of activity.

After about a year of half-heartedly living a primal lifestyle, with the eating and exercise plan, I’ve committed once again to making a true effort to take care of myself the way that I have found is best for me. I am not happy with how I look or feel when I am not eating and exercising properly. It’s not about how much I weigh, it’s how I feel about myself. I do tend to naturally be on the thinner side, but as my life was showing me, it was easy for me to continue easing up the size chart. I’m not saying that being heavier or wearing larger clothes is a bad thing. If I could be well-toned at a heavier weight, that would be fine with me. But my body naturally goes to the size I am when I eat and exercise well. I am not going to be an extreme weight lifter just to bulk up so I weigh more.

My goal right now is to eat properly at home and to enjoy occasional treats along the way. I had chocolate chip ice cream with pecans and caramel topping the other night. But I had about half of my typical serving size. I try to limit high-carb restaurants, although the $5 footlong specials at Subway and the $10 dinner box at Pizza Hut are 2 of my easiest temptations. And I do give in to them. I just try to be sure there’s a decent amount of time between our visits to those restaurants because I know they’re not good for me to have on a regular basis. I eat a lot of eggs, try to eat fish a couple of times a week, I eat grass-fed beef, and need to include chicken into the menu more often. I eat pork less often, but enjoy it once a month or so. I enjoy eating fruit and need to be more deliberate about eating vegetables. I use butter, olive oil and coconut oil liberally; fat does not make me fat. Sugar and processed foods is what makes me fat. Breads and pasta (which I truly enjoy) are more of a treat instead of a staple like it had been all of my life.

My exercise regimen consists more of strength training using my own body weight. I do use hand weights and a kettle bell, but I also do squats, push ups (not many and not in good form yet), planks, lunges, crunches, and various stretches. I don't work out to the point of exhaustion. I have a certain amount of reps that I do and I stop when I'm done. I can feel that my muscles are getting a good work out, and I will notice a difference in my body shape. But I don't get to the point of feeling like I can't move because I worked my body beyond the point of exhaustion. I honestly don't think that overdoing exercise on a regular basis is healthy for my body. I am not an active person so this type of exercise helps me to look and feel healthier.

We hear so much about bullying. Verbal bullying seems to be at its height in society. I would get so much flack if I said, “I hate you because you’re black” or “I hate you because you’re fat”. Why, then, is it acceptable in society to say, “I hate you because you’re so skinny”? If I am healthy, active, and enjoying life, rejoice with me don’t judge me. Hate is an ugly word however it’s used in reference to people (although I do hate cold weather)—be very careful how you throw it around.