Who Is In Control?

Galatians 5:22-23  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

The fruit of the Spirit known as self-control has plunged me deep in thought as I’ve contemplated what that term in the context of Galatians 5:22-23 means to me. I have always thought of self-control as being able to keep myself from doing things that I shouldn’t be doing. However, what about the control to do the things that I should be doing? This is where my problem comes in.

In the past, I have tried to control my behavior. I haven’t done a bad job but there are many areas where I feel that I haven’t controlled things very well. These are the areas that keep creeping back into my focus when I realize that I need to get my life under control. So what do I do? I make another list, read another book, come up with some sort of chart to help me control my behavior. Why, after all of these years, do I really think that there is some sort of gimmick that’s going to work for me this time? Why do I think that I may finally have everything stirred together in the proper manner that it’s going to make that life-changing difference in my life that I continue to seek?

 What I have come to realize is that the way that I need to control myself is to recognize what parts of my own self that I need to let go of. I need the control to be willing to let go of any negative behaviors or thought patterns that will hinder the Holy Spirit from working in and through my life. This type of self-control isn’t about being controlled by myself, as in having the self-control to not eat that cookie, but it’s the ability I have to recognize within myself (with God's guidance) what part of my behavior I need to rebuke and release so that I’m no longer quenching or hindering the Spirit.

I feel that the reason that this fruit is called “self-control” as opposed to “Spirit-control” is that God will not force us to change. He will not come into our lives and automatically rid us of the things in our lives that negatively affect us. We are not created to be his robots. We are created to follow Him and to emulate Jesus with our lives. We must be the ones to have the control because only through using our self-control to move “us” out of the way can there truly be room for the Spirit to work in us to produce the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness spoken about in these verses.

Think of a body guard bringing someone important through a crowd to the stage. The body guard goes on ahead, moving people out of the way so that the dignitary can move through. Once that special person reaches the stage, the body guard steps back out of the way so that the dignitary is able to do the work he is meant to do. The body guard, however, remains vigilant to keep people away who may hinder the work of the one he’s guarding. Our purpose for being in control of ourselves is only to move the things out of our lives that are in the way of the Spirit. Once that’s done, though it will be an ongoing process, we need to step back and let the Spirit do what He’s meant to do in our lives. We must remain vigilant as well, being aware of thoughts and actions that will hinder the work of the Spirit and being ready to remove them from our lives when they get in His way.

Self-control, although it is mentioned last in the list, is truly the key to the whole verse. I always thought that love was the key because love is the over-arching theme of the Bible. But first, we need self-control to be able to recognize and eliminate anything that can get in the way of the Spirit’s work to produce the rest of the fruit in us. Only then will we be fully Spirit-controlled and able to do the work that God has called us to do.

Vienna Waits for You

Matthew McConaughey and Billy Joel. Not much of a connection it would seem, but their words have spoken to me in recent weeks and, to me, they’re connected.

I don’t know if it’s the lingering winter weather, circumstances in life, or just the fact that I’m another year older, but I’ve been feeling something deep inside. I want to say that I’m feeling nostalgic, but that seems to be looking back at what has already happened in my life. I feel that same sort of feeling, but I feel it as I look forward in life. Call it “forward-thinking nostalgia”, I guess.

I was listening to an oldies station a couple of weeks ago and the song, “Vienna”, by Billy Joel,  came on. I know the song but have not paid close attention to the lyrics.

But you know that when the truth is told

That you can get what you want

Or you can just get old

You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

When will you realize... Vienna waits for you?

Hmmm. I can get what I want or I can just get old. Not that I necessarily want Vienna, but whatever it is I want is waiting for me. When will I realize that?

Matthew McConaughey won the Oscar for best actor this year. I didn’t watch the entire Academy Awards program so I ended up missing his speech. Because I saw his speech posted on Facebook, I decided to see what he had to say. Although many were impressed that he thanked God as he was talking, I thought it was much more thought provoking when he began to talk about going after his hero.

And to my hero. That's who I chase. Now when I was 15 years old, I had a very important person in my life come to me and say 'who's your hero?' And I said, 'I don't know, I gotta think about that. Give me a couple of weeks.' I come back two weeks later, this person comes up and says 'who's your hero?' I said, 'I thought about it. You know who it is? It's me in 10 years.' So I turned 25. Ten years later, that same person comes to me and says, 'So, are you a hero?' And I was like, 'not even close. No, no, no.' She said, 'Why?' I said, 'Because my hero's me at 35.' So you see every day, every week, every month and every year of my life, my hero's always 10 years away. I'm never gonna be my hero. I'm not gonna attain that. I know I'm not, and that's just fine with me because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing.

First of all, I’m not a fan of the word “hero”. I think that it’s been over used and misused since 9-11 and the true meaning of a hero has been watered down. I don’t think I really have any heroes in my life. In this situation, though, I think the term mentor or role model can be used in place of hero. Who is my role model? 

Who do I look to as someone that I want to emulate and learn from? What better person than an improved, focused, streamlined self to have as a goal to attain? No one else will be exactly who I want to be. There will always be something in another person’s lifestyle choices that is not something that I want in my life. Only as I picture myself in the future do I see who I truly want to be. That person should be my mentor and who I am striving to be.

To some, it may seem disappointing that we can never achieve hero status since it’s something that seems to be 10 years out of our grasp at every point in life. To me, however, it’s exciting! I see what I want to become and set my goals accordingly. If I have a bad day, or even a bad year, and seem to have a setback from attaining that 10-year goal, I see it as a fresh opportunity to regroup and rethink what I want to become. And I’m still looking 10 years ahead of myself, whether it’s from a successful day or a defeated year.

At 54 years old, it may seem daunting to think in terms of ten years…and ten years beyond that. As the song says, I’m going to kick off before I even get halfway through. But that’s the joy of life! I want to have so many dreams, plans, goals, and life events that I die before I accomplish them all. I want to die in the midst of doing them. No, I don’t wish for an early death—I wish for, and plan for, a prolonged, fully-lived life. I don’t want to give up on who I am and what I can accomplish. Maybe in becoming a role model for myself, I’ll also end up being a role model for others. After all, it's hard to lead others if I'm not willing to follow myself.

Why should I just get old when I can get what I want? Every opportunity, my Vienna (whatever that may be), is out there waiting for me to discover it. Each day that I accomplish something that moves me a step closer to that 10-year goal is a day closer to Vienna…and my new, improved 10-year goal.

Christmas Traditions

Growing up, I didn’t think about tradition very much. Tradition seems like such a formal word yet I know that our family had many holiday traditions. As the years went by with our children, I realized that if we did something they liked just one time, they were ready to consider it a tradition.  Although I’m sure most everyone has their own Christmas traditions that have developed over time, I’d like to share some of ours.

First, we’ve never done the “Santa” routine with our kids. Before we were even married, Tim said that he didn’t want to have our kids believe in a Santa who delivers presents. I wanted to have them believe since that’s what I grew up with, but once we had kids I changed my mind.  I always told people the reason we chose to let them know that the presents were from us is because I’m needy and I wanted them to be excited and thankful that we’d gotten them the presents, and not have the glory go to Santa Claus. We were careful to let our kids know the Santa beliefs of others and (except for one slip up that went unheeded) they were good to keep the secret for others.

Since we wanted our focus to be on the birth of Christ, our first decoration to go up after Thanksgiving was our nativity scene that Tim’s mom made for us.  We also have many nativity scene ornaments and decorations around the house making it easy to keep our minds on the true reason for Christmas.

We have gotten a real tree every year. I now think it would make sense to get an artificial tree, but have been met with resistance—even from myself. When decorating, we listen to the amazing a cappella Christmas album, An Evening in December, by First Call. I am a selfish (yet again) mom. I put the lights on the tree and do my decorating first. Then the kids have their time to put their own decorations on the tree. 

Christmas Eve tradition begins with going to the service at church. When we get home, it’s time to watch Claymation Christmas, a favorite that I remember watching on TV when I was growing up. The kids are allowed to open one gift on Christmas Eve. Since I don’t put their gifts under the tree ahead of time, they open gifts from each other. Eggnog is usually included in the evening, but I know it hasn’t been done every year. I would call it a faulty tradition….

Although we don’t have Santa deliver presents, I still like the awe and wonder of coming down on Christmas morning and seeing presents under the tree that weren’t there the night before. I would wait until the kids went to bed to put their wrapped presents under the tree and stuff their stockings. Thankfully, they still want to be surprised as adults. They now stay up later than I do, but they’re willing to stay out of the “Christmas tree room” and not look at their stockings when they walk by so that I can get all of my work done without staying up all night.

With a strict rule to not wake us up before 7 a.m., the girls (at 7 on the dot) would run into our room and get in bed with us. Their brother wasn’t quite as anxious, although he realized that the girls would not-too-kindly wake him up if he didn’t get himself up in time. (I kind of think that was part of his tradition as he moaned and groaned every year when the girls would go jump on him to wake him up.) No one was allowed downstairs until we were all ready to go as a family. Now that they’re adults and have a bit more patience, we have changed the time to 8, but the girls are still as excited as they always were to come wake us up.

Our first stop once we get downstairs is in front of the stockings and nativity scene. Before we check out the stockings (that have to have something sticking out of them—it’s tradition!), we get the baby Jesus figurine and sing a song that the kids learned in a church musical many years ago. Called “Happy Birthday, Jesus”, it helps us to be sure that our first focus on Christmas morning is on the birth of our Savior.

Once the stockings have been dumped and all the contents gone through, we move in to the Christmas tree. Opening presents is never a free-for-all event—we take the time to open each present one by one, usually going around the circle or by age.  The response to the presents, as well as the type of presents given, has changed over the years, but each year still bring a sense of wonder, excitement and just plain contentment and thankfulness as we give and receive our gifts from each other.

A few years ago, I started making homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast. I think that’s a tradition that will stick around for a while!

My mom and dad typically come over for a visit later in the day to see everyone’s gifts and to enjoy family time together. When the kids were young, we would not only have our own Christmas time together but we would cram in two other family get-togethers on Christmas day itself. When that tradition changed, I was bothered at first. I liked celebrating Christmas with extended family on Christmas day. Now, I enjoy having a more low-key family day on Christmas and having two other days for celebrating Christmas with each side of the family. Less stress, more days to celebrate and enjoy life with family.

I never thought that we would be one of “those” families who don’t have anything better to do on Christmas than go to see a movie. However, one year when we didn’t have any other plans, we went to a movie with some friends. I was shocked at how packed the theater was! Now, going to a movie on Christmas day is another event that has become a tradition in our family that we all look forward to.

Our son is now married and has his own family to share his Christmas morning traditions. I realize that there will be a time when we probably won’t have any of our children around on Christmas morning. But that will be okay—we’ll know that they’re beginning their own traditions, more than likely similar to what they grew up with. And, as I did with my family, they will add their own flavor to what they do. Tim and I will adjust, continuing some of the same traditions and will easily come up with our own traditions that involve just the two of us. Our traditions will grow and evolve as our family does. But our main tradition will be the same: our focus will be on the birth of Jesus, the true reason for the Christmas season. 

I Am Getting Older: Looking Older

I do not like having wrinkles and gray hair. I was looking at some pictures of me from 4 years ago and the first thing I said was, “Look how brown my hair is!”. Of course, that was with quite a bit of cover-up help from Clairol, or whatever the hair color company was.

Unfortunately, a few years back, I decided that I am anti-chemical. I’m not exactly sure how I got to that point, but I think it began with doing research on coconut oil. I tend to start on one subject, and as I’m searching, I end up finding all sorts of interesting sites. All of a sudden, it seemed that I was reading about the dangers of the chemicals that are in shampoo, lotion, and other everyday items that we all take for granted.

As I’ve said before, I’m not an activist. If you want to find out more information on the dangers of chemicals in personal care products, I’d urge you to research it for yourself. A good place to start is http://www.mercola.com/. Be sure to confirm everything you read, although in this case it’s kind of hard since many conventional sites say that all of the products are fine to use and are actually good for you. Anyway, do the research or just go natural knowing that it’s more than likely better than using chemicals.

At this point, I feel that I need to put in a disclaimer. I am not criticizing anyone for their use of commercial/chemical products. I am telling my own story, not judging how anyone else chooses to live their life. 

I colored my hair for about 15 years. I ended up more reddish than brown for a while. I had a coloring accident that turned my hair black the day before I was going to a big wedding (our daughter, Carla, said that I could put on a leather dress and pretend that I was Pocohantas!). I am quite thankful for a beautician neighbor who was able to gently strip the black color out of my hair, leaving me with the reddish brown color that I’d gotten used to. Our son called me a calico a time or two when the color was growing out—I had the bottle color, my former natural brown color, and a lot of gray hair in the mix.

Yet with all of the coloring hassles, I didn’t want to go gray. I remembered a commercial saying, “I’m not going to age gracefully. I’m going to fight it every step of the way.” But I am who I am. I had a few gray hairs when I was 18, and although I don’t think I was “prematurely gray”, I definitely was heading toward being gray a lot sooner than I thought I should. I decided that I didn’t need to fight aging in a chemical way. I would obviously still be aging, and doing it in a more unhealthy manner by using so many chemicals to try to maintain a younger look.

I do want to age gracefully. I’ve seen some beautiful women, young and old, who have a head full of gray hair. I’ve seen women with obviously colored hair who still look old and act defeated. Whichever I would choose, I’d needed to simply come to the conclusion that I’m beautiful the way that I am and to carry myself with confidence.

And then there are the wrinkles. I will not stay out of the sun and I don’t use chemical sunscreen. The commercials that shows the products that fill in the wrinkles, plump out the skin, and make you look younger are so convincing to me. However, the fear of the chemicals keeps me away from them. I had found a natural lotion that worked well for me until the company went out of business. Now I make my own lotion. It’s not the greatest, but it works well enough. And I have wrinkles because I enjoy the sunshine and I’m almost in my mid-fifties. I laugh, cry, get frustrated, and live life.  And it shows on my face. But that’s okay, since I’m living life to enjoy it.

So, when you see me today, my face is wrinkled enough that you won’t confuse me with a younger woman, and you’ll see me with my natural hair color. ..which, by the way, I’d still say is brown. I know that I am not 20 anymore…or even 30 or 40. I do, at times, feel sad for the loss of my youthful look. But I look back on my life and realize that in the midst of growing older, I have grown in other ways, too.

My next post will be about feeling older. Just because I’m in my fifties, do I have to suffer the aches, pains and illnesses of an older person? I’m finding out that, although it’s not easy, I can take care of myself in a way that makes me feel so much better—and younger, too. Feeling young and healthy is so much better than covering up gray hair and wrinkles with chemicals to give the appearance of being younger. Being fit and healthy makes me be able to pull off the gray hair and wrinkles with more grace knowing that I may look old, but I don’t have to act old.

Throwing Family Away

Although I should have a blog ready to post, I didn’t feel like posting what I’ve written. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and with our upcoming family get together, I was thinking about family gatherings through the years. So many wonderful memories, yet so many missing family members over the years. Some to death, some to location, some because they’ve decided to throw family away.

This will be my first Thanksgiving without having any of our children here to celebrate with us. That they won’t be here comes as no surprise to me because of what their circumstances are at this time in their lives. However, I know that only 2 of 3 of our adult children would choose to spend holidays with our family.

When I think back over our Thanksgiving traditions, I could easily say that we have food traditions. We have most of the basic “turkey and trimmings” feast, along with pumpkin and custard pies, corn casserole, and other desserts and side dishes that have come and gone over the years. We first start our Thanksgiving Day celebration by having breakfast with friends. Although I don’t have an exact number on how many years we’ve been doing that, I’d say it’s approaching 20 years.

Although the food traditions aren’t wrong in any way, and we have come to expect to have certain dishes served, food is just the centerpiece of our celebration. The centerpiece is what’s placed on the table for people to talk over and around. Our Thanksgiving tradition focuses on family. Although we are grateful and we do take the time to thank God for the blessings he’s bestowed on each one of us, family is the reason for the gathering. Current news is shared, eyes are rolled over hearing the same stories yet another time. Much laughter, some tears and heartache. Another Thanksgiving Day spent sharing life; bonds grown another year stronger.

How, then, can a person throw away everything that has to do with their family? I realize that there are broken families in the world where a person doesn’t feel loved or safe in any way. But what about the good families that have been broken because of one person deciding that they don’t want to be a part of that family anymore. I never thought that I would be part of a broken family. Tim and I have been happily married for 32 years and grow closer with each passing year. My parents have been married for 54 years—pretty sure I’m safe there. I never thought that a child would be the cause of our broken family.

How does a person feel when they have years of family traditions and memories? Do they try to incorporate some of those memories into new memories with their new family? Have those memories that mean so much to the rest of us, become like a poison to them so they try to purge them from their minds? Do they remember with fondness the family times we’ve all shared or are their memories tainted so that the very things that bring us together every year with expectation make them feel trapped, inferior, or somehow unloved?

Children don’t have a choice of what family they’re part of in the way that someone becomes part of a family through marriage. The growing-up years are typically full of stories, songs, quotes, traditions, foods, expectations, hurts, love and togetherness that help form who we become as an adult. If, by choice, we throw all of those things away, what does that leave us? Who are we without our past?

Those who choose to throw family away will quite possibly go on to have a wonderful Thanksgiving and will more than likely have much to be thankful for. Do they give any thought to the broken family that they’ve left behind? Do they know that although our table looks full and we still celebrate as a family, we will never be truly complete without them? Do they understand that part of our Thanksgiving Day prayer is for them to choose to come back?

Family is worth the effort. Family is worth working through whatever troubles may come along the way. Family is our heritage, both to receive and to pass on. Although our family is broken, we will continue our family Thanksgiving Day traditions with those who remain. We will connect in some way with those who can’t join us, we will be saddened by those who make the choice to stay away. But above all, we will continue to go to God with thanksgiving, knowing that He hears our prayers and will cover us with peace.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4: 4-7 (italics added)

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Thin

Why is it considered okay to say rude things to skinny people? I don’t tell you that you’d feel a lot better in the heat if you didn’t have so much extra weight. Why can you tell me that I need more fat on me so that I don’t get so cold in the winter time? I don’t criticize you for wearing size 18 clothing, yet I was in a Christian conference and heard a Christian woman speaker say, from the stage, that she hates all of us in our size 2 jeans. Well, I had gone from a size 10-12 and I was so excited, for the first time that morning, to be able to fit into my size 2 jeans! I was truly offended and should have said something to her about it. Maybe I didn’t have quite the weight and eating problem that she had, but it took work and dedication to lose that weight in a healthy manner. People take one look at me and just assume, and say to my face, that I never have to worry about what I eat and that I’m so lucky to be thin.

About 7 years ago, I was becoming living proof of the middle-age spread. I was at my highest, non-pregnancy, weight and I felt frumpy all of the time. I looked in the mirror and definitely had the "Mrs. Doubtfire" belly going on. I didn’t feel good about myself and I realized that it had been a long time since anyone had said how skinny I was. I set out to lose weight.

My plan to lose weight was to cut calories. I know there were days that I was quite light-headed because I wasn’t consuming enough to support my body, but I was willing to pay that price. I was still eating, and a lot of days I just had fruits and vegetables.

I also started to exercise with more intensity. Between using the treadmill and doing a 3-2-1 (cardio-toning-core) workout, I exercised for about an hour each day. For me, that’s pretty extreme!

I didn’t weigh myself at the very beginning of my weight-loss plan, but I lost at least 20 pounds in about 4 months. I even dropped below my goal weight.

I actually weigh less than most height/weight charts say that I should. But I have quite small bone structure, so I do take that into account with my weight.

Gradually, over the next few years, my weight started to go back up. I never did get as heavy as I had been when I was in size 12 jeans, but I was feeling flabby and frumpy again. I was “skinny fat”, not toned and in good shape. And I believed the lie that a calorie is a calorie and ate pretty much whatever I wanted to eat. Scientifically, that’s probably true, but it’s not true in how the calories affected my body.

Two years ago, I wanted to change my eating style and decided to do a 30-day primal/paleo challenge for my health. My weight wasn’t really that bad but I never seemed to be able to lose my belly flab. I could tell that I had abs behind the belly fat, but it was the pooch that was obvious. After doing some research, I decided that maybe this eating and exercise plan would be good for me.

In 30 days of being strict with the program (high fat, high protein, low carb), I ended up losing 5 pounds that I wasn't even trying to lose. The exercise plan was moderate and helped to get me better toned than I had been before. And it was at the end of these 30 days that I was able to get into my size 2 jeans. My previous diet and exercise plan had made me look good on the scale by the weight I’d lost, but this plan made a difference in my body shape and how I felt.

Once I was done with the 30 days, I allowed treats along the way (especially since it was fall and was getting to be holiday time!). But overall, I stayed true to my eating plan and I felt great.  I held on to that basic weight for about a year, until I hit a rough spot in my life due to circumstances beyond my control. 

Unfortunately, the start of the rough spot easily led into holiday eating, which I wasn’t so careful with this time around. I’d eat poorly for a while, would commit to healthy eating, and then would slip up again. My weight finally started to climb and my clothes didn’t fit as well as they had. I didn’t put on much weight, but I felt the flabbiness coming back. I also had cut back on exercising since I had no energy for that type of activity.

After about a year of half-heartedly living a primal lifestyle, with the eating and exercise plan, I’ve committed once again to making a true effort to take care of myself the way that I have found is best for me. I am not happy with how I look or feel when I am not eating and exercising properly. It’s not about how much I weigh, it’s how I feel about myself. I do tend to naturally be on the thinner side, but as my life was showing me, it was easy for me to continue easing up the size chart. I’m not saying that being heavier or wearing larger clothes is a bad thing. If I could be well-toned at a heavier weight, that would be fine with me. But my body naturally goes to the size I am when I eat and exercise well. I am not going to be an extreme weight lifter just to bulk up so I weigh more.

My goal right now is to eat properly at home and to enjoy occasional treats along the way. I had chocolate chip ice cream with pecans and caramel topping the other night. But I had about half of my typical serving size. I try to limit high-carb restaurants, although the $5 footlong specials at Subway and the $10 dinner box at Pizza Hut are 2 of my easiest temptations. And I do give in to them. I just try to be sure there’s a decent amount of time between our visits to those restaurants because I know they’re not good for me to have on a regular basis. I eat a lot of eggs, try to eat fish a couple of times a week, I eat grass-fed beef, and need to include chicken into the menu more often. I eat pork less often, but enjoy it once a month or so. I enjoy eating fruit and need to be more deliberate about eating vegetables. I use butter, olive oil and coconut oil liberally; fat does not make me fat. Sugar and processed foods is what makes me fat. Breads and pasta (which I truly enjoy) are more of a treat instead of a staple like it had been all of my life.

My exercise regimen consists more of strength training using my own body weight. I do use hand weights and a kettle bell, but I also do squats, push ups (not many and not in good form yet), planks, lunges, crunches, and various stretches. I don't work out to the point of exhaustion. I have a certain amount of reps that I do and I stop when I'm done. I can feel that my muscles are getting a good work out, and I will notice a difference in my body shape. But I don't get to the point of feeling like I can't move because I worked my body beyond the point of exhaustion. I honestly don't think that overdoing exercise on a regular basis is healthy for my body. I am not an active person so this type of exercise helps me to look and feel healthier.

We hear so much about bullying. Verbal bullying seems to be at its height in society. I would get so much flack if I said, “I hate you because you’re black” or “I hate you because you’re fat”. Why, then, is it acceptable in society to say, “I hate you because you’re so skinny”? If I am healthy, active, and enjoying life, rejoice with me don’t judge me. Hate is an ugly word however it’s used in reference to people (although I do hate cold weather)—be very careful how you throw it around.

FamilyTravel

This week, I’m actually making my post from Salt Lake City, where we’re visiting our daughter, Carla. We chose to drive from Illinois to Utah, as we did last year, instead of flying out. I, myself, would rather fly. So little time is spent on travel which means more time spent at our destination. But on the other hand, so little time is spent on travel, which means there are so many sights left unseen. We also enjoy the “windshield time”, where we talk, listen to books on cd, and enjoy each other’s company with nowhere else to go. Tim has been itching for a road trip, and since he does almost all of the driving, a road trip it is.

We started to travel when our kids were 3, 5, and 7 years old. Our first destination was Camp Elohim, near Troy, Montana—a little jaunt about 1700 miles one way. Each of the kids had their own activity tub that held a variety of things such as coloring books, markers, small games, and toys of their choosing. It was a good size to fit on their lap as a “desk” or to easily slide under their seats. They started out as good travelers even at their young ages.

That trip was the beginning of our annual family vacations. For a while, it seemed that we’d go west one year and then go east the next year. We realized that, as a homeschooling family, it made sense to occasionally travel in the fall when other kids were in school since there were typically fewer crowds to deal with. We started out camping on vacations, and sometimes just sleeping in the van, but then decided that it was much easier to stop at motels. Camping was good if we were going to be set up for a few days, but to get everything set up and torn down for a quick overnight stop was more trouble than it was worth. And we were quite willing to stay at inexpensive motels. Once again, if we couldn’t find a place to stay within our price range, we’d sleep in the van. Or Carla and I would sleep in the van and the others would sleep on a picnic table or on an available large rock.

Through our family vacations, we managed to hit all of the contiguous states except Louisiana. We had plans to stay there and spend one last day on the beach, but the weather was bad so we headed north in Mississippi. We should have driven on into Louisiana and then gone north just so we could say we’d been there. We did take one last vacation with only the girls, and we ended up visiting Louisiana. By this time, Tim and Laura had already been there on a hurricane disaster relief mission trip. As a family, 4 out of 5 of us ended up going to all 48 states. We also went to, or through, 4 Canadian provinces: British Columbia, Ontario,  Quebec, and New Brunswick.

Travel is a part of who we are as a family. We had one minor car accident, a totally flooded tent, and a stern lecture from me to everyone about how the Grand Canyon might not give you a second chance if you fall. We stayed with our Congressman and his family when we visited Washington, DC. We went to Florida more than once, but never went to Disney World or any of the other theme parks. We stayed in a 3-bedroom apartment right by the beach for only $30 a night thanks to Tim’s time in the Air Force.

We took part in a seal rescue, enjoyed a kite-flying festival on a beach, went whale watching, and camped in a spot so windy that I had to cook in the tent (not recommended!). We had a private tour of a nuclear submarine that was docked for maintenance. We learned that the Omaha Zoo is a great place to spend the day when your transmission is being rebuilt. We hauled a miniature horse in the back of our van from Oregon to Illinois with a week spent in Montana on the way. We’ve enjoyed beaches on the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans, the Gulf of Mexico, Lake Michigan, and numerous smaller lakes and rivers.

Although we would sometimes go to a museum or other man-made point of interest, most of our vacation time was spent enjoying nature. Water, trees and rocks seemed to be what drew us to them. Rocks to climb, rocks to collect. Digging holes in the sand, skipping rocks in the water, playing in the waves even if it’s cold enough that the kids’ lips turn blue. Hiking through forests, playing in creeks, enjoying the beauty and sound of waterfalls. Simple pleasures that are enduring memories.

I could fill pages with memories of so many vacations. I plan to focus on a few of those memories in upcoming writings, but I wanted to give a bit of an introduction on how travel became such a big part of our lives. I thoroughly enjoy our home and I am typically a homebody. However, travel is in our blood and there is so much to see and experience beyond the end of our driveway. The whole world is ours to explore.